Why do so many family businesses resist the very help that could ensure their legacy endures for generations?
I recognize and appreciate the resistance to business and leadership coaching. After all, I’ve been selling and delivering these services for over 20 years. And, with family businesses, it’s especially difficult to be invited in to help family businesses because the resistance can come from any family member with the power to veto.
In this blog, I make a compelling case for how and why family businesses benefit from business and executive or leadership coaching. In a subsequent blog, I’ll explain the distinctions between business and executive or leadership coaching.
Family businesses often resist business, leadership, and executive coaching for various reasons, many of which stem from the unique dynamics and emotions involved in running a business with family members. While family business clients often hesitate to share case studies, my two decades of experience with companies of all kinds have revealed vital insights. Some of the key factors I have are listed below.
9 Key Factors for Resistance to Coaching by Family Businesses
Based on 20 years of experience coaching family and non-family-run businesses, there are at least nine reasons for family business owners and leaders to resist coaching. Some of these reasons are similar to those of non-family businesses. They are:
1. Tradition and Legacy
It’s only natural that family businesses are protective of their legacy. Family businesses are often built on strong traditions and long-established practices. The founding generation or current leadership may see outside coaching as challenging the business’s legacy, believing their way has worked for years or even generations. I have found that resistance typically occurs among the older generations, not the younger ones, so I spend most of my time coaching the next generation, typically millennials.
2. Fear of Losing Control
In many family businesses, leadership tends to be concentrated within a few family members. Bringing in a coach may feel like a threat to control or decision-making power. There’s a fear that an outsider could disrupt the balance of power or influence family dynamics in unwanted ways. I can recall numerous examples of this, like when I was invited into the conference room of a perfume distributor by the 28-year-old son of the boss. The father could not have been more indifferent or cool towards me.
3. Loyalty and Emotional Attachment
Family businesses often have deep emotional bonds, and family members may feel loyal to one another’s decisions, even if they are not always in the business’s best interest. Accepting coaching may feel like betraying those close bonds or acknowledging weaknesses within the family leadership. This is a pretty obvious one and very much less true in non-family businesses.
4. Conflicting Roles
In family businesses, the roles of family members and business leaders can overlap, leading to blurred boundaries. Coaching can challenge these relationships, bringing to the surface personal issues or conflicts that many would prefer to keep private or unexamined. While role confusion and overlap certainly exist in many businesses, the overlapping roles of parent and boss create a more conflicting dynamic.
5. Reluctance to Outsiders
Some family businesses are highly insular, where outside advice is not readily accepted. Long-term relationships and trust are often prioritized over external perspectives, making it difficult for a coach to integrate and be trusted.
My mom always said, “Blood is thicker than water,” referring to the bonds of family being like blood and the bonds of teammates being like water.
6. Assumption of Self-Sufficiency
Many family business leaders believe they already have the knowledge and experience to run the business. Since they may have grown up in the business or inherited it, they might feel that their expertise or intuition surpasses what a coach can offer. In my book, I write about coaching only the humble. The truth is that those who already have an “I know that” attitude can’t easily be coached. Only ‘ninja’ coaches dare risk their reputation with the uncoachable.
7. Cost Concerns
Especially in smaller or medium-sized family businesses, there may be concerns about the financial cost of hiring a coach. They may not see it as a justifiable expense, mainly if the business has always been run without external advice. This is true of non-family companies equally.
8. Fear of Conflict Escalation
Coaching often brings up underlying issues and tensions that could exacerbate family conflicts. Some family businesses may prefer to avoid confronting these challenges, fearing that it will disrupt harmony, both at work and within the family. Here, we have a somewhat unique factor in family businesses. Typically, people who contact me for coaching and advice have already worked through any conflict. For instance, I’ve coached couples who worked together, divorced, and resolved conflicts before contacting me.
9. Lack of Awareness
Many family businesses may need to realize that coaching could be beneficial. They might be unfamiliar with what business or leadership coaching entails, or they may need to fully understand its value in improving performance, leadership, and family dynamics. That is what I will address in the next blog.
In Sum
Does your family business face similar challenges?
Have you noticed any of these dynamics at play?
As a coach working with many family businesses, I often must address business issues and family dynamics, emphasizing trust-building, confidentiality, and sensitivity to family dynamics and historical relationships to overcome these resistances. I have found that bringing the right tools makes all the difference in a successful coaching experience. These include but are not limited to:
- One of the playbooks I’ve used successfully with other clients;
- Strategic thinking and tactical planning exercises for fostering a sticky culture, building a world-class team, and developing a robust business plan that has a competitive advantage in the marketplace;
- Installing a business management operating system software to manage your strategic plan, business meetings, metrics and priorities.
Despite these understandable reservations, the benefits of business and executive coaching far outweigh the perceived risks.
Ready to unlock your family business’s potential? Schedule a consultation with me today. Let’s build a strategy tailored to your legacy.